Where has he been my whole life?

 

Each day my love is growing stronger for 3D.  I have thought more than once……. “Where has he been all my life?”   It seems interesting that we have crossed paths several times in our life. And for one reason or another we ended up not being together. Seems like a lack of communication is the main culprit. He has always known that he has loved me. I on the other hand have always had a hard time thinking…….. “Love!”  It is hard enough for me to kiss someone. So you can imagine falling in love. Or even saying I love you for that matter.  I know I have said those infamous 3 words more than once.  Have I meant it everytime……… NOPE!   I have said it more than once just to make the other person happy.  The sad part is I was perfect in their eyes………….. when in reality I was seeing someone else.  Or several other people at the same time.   I have no regrets.  But I do have a lot of what ifs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In our past relationship I know that I cared for, liked and lusted after 3D.  Was it love?  Who knows. But what I do know it that it was good.  Let me rephrase that.  It was great!  Could it have lasted?  Probably.

My main issue has always been communication.  Not on my part. On my partner’s side. I am always waiting for the man to tell me how he feels about me. I do not ask. I feel that if they love me then they should have no problem telling me so.  Has that happened…………………. Not really.  Most times I find out how they felt about me after the fact……. WTF?!?!?!?  And by then I have moved on. The one relationship that the love was mutual was an open relationship. So that does not count.

Another issue in my previous relationships have been my personality.  Because I am so friendly with everyone most of my ex’s thought I was being unfaithful.  LOL SMH  Sad to say in the cases where I was accused of cheating…………. I wasn’t.  But in the times when my SO had no doubts……………… I was.  I have never cheated on my SO when he was giving me everything that I need. But when it starts to slack up. I will let him know.  Fix it or I’m going to move on.  They always believed I was just talking…………….. PEOPLE JUST DON’T GET ME SOMETIMES.  I have no reason to lie about anything.

3D has given me everything that I have needed in these past few months. Catching up was wonderful. I love hearing his version of our past relationship.  It is nice to get another perspective. And we both knew what we had was good.  And because of what we had it was easy to build from that and grow. It has been a great ride. Of course it has been moving at a fast pace.  No complaints here.

For once in my life I can honestly say that I love this man with all of my heart, body and soul. And I can not wait until we are together as one. So we can start our new life together.  Eventually have a family. Etc, etc, etc.