Been talking with my auntie about what's been going on in my life. She has been my mentor for years. She always motivated me, supported me and been there for me when my mother has not! Playing catch-up has been wonderful. She asked me to move back home. I told her I see that in my future. Not sure when...... But I believe within the next 10 years. Have to wait until Mini me gets tired of OKC. Then go back home and start over for the last time in my life! LMAO
I have come to terms with the fact that RBR is no good for me. Yes my friends and family has been saying this since day one! SMH LOL Deep in my heart I feel like he has never spoken one ounce of truth to me in all of the years I have known him. Sad but true. (Actions speak louder than words!)
But I know I love him to my soul. SMH My mind knows it's time to move on. It's on the right path. Slowly healing. My heart on the other hand...... yearns for him. Wants to be with him forever. All the good memories come through when I least expect it. And then my brain reminds me of why we are done for good. Thank GOD that I have always been head strong. Because if I was not..... I would be trying to make things work with RBR. Some people feel I should try to keep working things out. But it takes 2. And I'm tired of doing all the work.
My auntie agrees that I should not be looking for a man. But I should be waiting for the right one to find me. And I will do that with no problem.
But I am really worried about Mini me. She has loved her daddy since day one. She is definitely a daddy's girl. I was a daddy's girl until my father(Sperm donor) decided a woman was more important this his only child when I was about 14. (That's why to this day I consider my stepfather my dad.) I never wanted that for either of my children...... and they both got deadbeat dads. I always thought highly of RBR. But now I realize it for what it is. Mini me is very sensitive. And I hope this does not break her will anymore than real life.
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