This week I started my weekly Zumba class. I will attend that once a week except when I have to work. Still looking for a captain’s chair and treadmill for my house. But will use my Wii and Elliptical for now. Did my first weight in for the year. I feel good. No more excuses. I know I have been busy but it time for me to make time for ME! My motivation motto for this year is……. “New Year, New Me.” Need a new job as well. Officially started job hunting this past weekend. But goal is to have a new job by Feb 1st. I am going to try my best!
The other day I had to question myself and Shay. (I would have asked Crazy Girl also…… SMH) We have so much in common but have lead similar but yet different life experiences. Surprisingly we are not twins but born 6 weeks apart!
Anywho……… Why does it seems that it is so easy to have “Friends” (with benefits) than Relationships!?!??!?!?? I suffer from what I call the 6 month curse! In the past ………….. 10 years all of my relationship have ended within 6 months. WTH Way is that? Who knows? My “friends” that I only call on when needed treat me better than many of my relationships. And no I am not sleeping with all of my friends. For that matter I am not really sleeping with any of them. Our friendship is based upon our past affiliation. I can talk to them, hang out with them even have sex with them without all the drama. For example…… the last guy I was talking to B had communication issues. He was jealous and abit overbearing. When I try to talk to him about what I felt our issue were all he does is get mad. And even hung up on me once……SMH! But yet one of my friends sent me a lovely charm bracelet out of the blue. And no I have not had sex with him in YEARS! It lifted my spirits and made me believe that my day will come. So once again I am back on the market.
I started internet dating back in Oct. When I meet one that I think has potential I stop talking to all the rest. And just focus my attention on him. But obviously that means nothing to them so I eventually go back to the sites. I hung out with DR once. We had a good time. But he has barely called, texted or even FB’d me since. I have no idea what to think. I thought that we clicked. And was looking forward to an actual date. But who knows what is in his agenda.
Why is it so hard to find love?!?!??!?! All I am looking for is for someone to love and respect me equally. Someone who will fulfill all my needs, desires and wants without feeling the need to still talk to someone else. I enjoy getting to know a person way before we jump into bed. I don’t do one night stands. I want to fall in love. Or better yet the way I explained it to one of my friends……………. I want to fall in love so deep that I can not find my way out! I want to be with one man for the rest of my life. I want to know what it feels like to share responsibilities. I want to know what it feels like to wake up in bed beside the same person……. over and over again! I don’t want to settle. Why should I have to?!?!? Every time I feel like I have found the “one” something always comes up. One guy felt I wanted to have sex too much. He had the nerve to say I was using him. WTF. Another guy wants me to move to the city he lives in so that we can be closer………… ut NO! Why would I do that when we are talking? I have children to think about. And I will not uproot my family because of a fleeting thought of fancy. SMH I have several people……. friends, family etc. trying to convince me to move back home to Maryland. That I do not see happening.
I love living in Texas. When I first got here, of course I had reservations. But I have fell in love with this state. And I am eager to learn all that I can about it! Just like that saying goes: I was not born here, but I got here as fast as I could! Now to find a man that feels the same way about me and Texas……………. and I will be all good! Holla
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