Anger = Motivation

I have never thought of anger as a motivator. At least not for me. I have seen in past movies, TV shows, books etc. how someone pisses someone off so much that they end up doing things for the better or worse to spite that person. I am not sure which category I fall into. But this past week I have actually used my anger for motivation. Now truth be told I have an anger management problem. I have tried anger management classes when I was younger.  Did not work!  Nuff said!  I have learned to calm myself down throughout the years. And my kids also know how to calm me down. But when I was younger……….beware!!!

Last week Trouble and I got into a stupid ass argument.  And by the end of the argument I decided enough was enough! I know I know. I have said that plenty of time before. LMAO I realized years ago that we would never be able to make a relationship work.  We talk about it on and off over the years. But the fact remains that he will never see it for what it is. Yes we are from 2 different upbringings ……. but that is not an excuse. He finds fault in a lot of what I do…. but don’t look at what he has done, to make me do what I had to do. Have I ever did anything wrong…… yes!  I loved him unconditionally.

Needless to say he said some things in that argument that touch me the wrong way.  The first expression that came to mind was….. If he was on fire I would not even spit on him! SMH Of course I know he will regret what he said. And maybe one day he will apologize.  But I am not sure if I am woman enough to be the bigger person if that day ever comes.

Got back in my workout routine. And after working my butt off I decided to weight myself. I usually do  my measurements monthly. For some reason I decided to go ahead and weight myself. The Wii kept measuring my weight wrong.  I could not figure out why.  So I jumped on the regular scale….. and low and behold….. I had lost 3 lbs. Not sure how long it took me but the last time I weighted myself was about 2 weeks ago.

And I started making plans for my immediate future.  Not sure how everything is going to pan out. But I am trying my best to make it happen. This anger has lit a fire in me. I have changed my roadmap. I have made a new list of goals to be completed within the next year. And in this year hopefully I will be able to put something towards my long term goals.  Wish me luck!