I have been busy for the last couple of months. Alot has been happening in my life. Not that I have a moment of peace right now but I need to get some of this off my chest.
In the past 3 months I have been through a new relationship, a break up, a new car, school, a new position at work and a renewing relationship with God.
3 months ago I met and started dating Gifted. Figured I would trying something new for a change. Instead of my sameo sameo. Met him online. Initially he was not my type. But great conversation. The first meeting was not that perfect meeting. Our first conversation in person.... was not idea. But somehow we merged a relationship out of it. He was not my type. But God must have felt he was what I needed. So I started dating Gifted. And then my life went on a whirl wind romance.
Instead of always being in the house, we was out 5 to 6 days a week. We was going to church regularly together. We was working on our relationship. He was a younger man. So some of his tendencies was immature. But I was patient. We talked most of the issues out. He run away from a couple of our issues before he decided to face them like a man. I felt like we were at the point in our relationship were we could talk about anything. Work on anything. Make it work. Together we decided we were in love. And that we are going to work on it.
Then the other night happened. He came home from work. Somehow once again he got to ranting. And in his rant he mention all the things he did not like about me. Keep in mind I have a list of his flaws as well. But when I am with someone I do not see their flaws. I love them regardless. Love does that to you. At least that is the way I felt. So I told him he had to go. Up until he left he said that he loved me. But he had to be truthful to me. HOW IS THAT BEING TRUTHFUL TO ME?
Was we living a lie? Was I slowing falling deeper in love with a man who I thought was doing the same to me? Was I just playing house once again! I gather the later one. So obviously I was the only one truly in love. How can he love me but then throw his dislikes at me like that. So he had to go. I will never apologize for being me. None of his issues were "serious issues!" Just silly issues. So I let him go willingly. And he told me that he does love me. But like I told him. I love you enough to let you go since you are not happy with me. Bye.
Now I move on with my life. SMH Funny as it is I still have no idea how he landed in my life. I was not looking for someone. He just appeared. I mentioned that to him once. I was not looking to date. He is not my "type!" Plus his age. All my friends told me to stop looking for reasons and just go for it. And that is what I did. I will say that this short relationship was the best one that I ever had in my life. He left a lasting impression. And the funny part is I doubt I will find anyone to fill his shoes! LOL No regrets. But I can't raise a man!
My car died last month. One day it just decided it no longer wanted to go faster than 10 mph. So I ended up trading it in for a 2015 Nissan Versa. I still miss my old car. But I need to have reliable transportation. I was looking forward to no longer having a car note. Now I just started back over. With a slightly bigger note. Oh well C'est la vie!!!
At work my co-worker was moved to another department. So now I am the head of my department. My hours have been crazy every since. I like my job but its not my career. So I am still looking for something else. More fulfilling. Not to mention more money.
One thing I can say about my relationship with Gifted is that it has helped me renew my relationship with God. My relationship with God was already good. But now I feel it is blessed.
And lastly I started back working on my MPA last week. So last week started out good. But ended messed up! If you the praying type.... pray for me please. I will take come good vibes. Some love etc. It is hard realizing that something is over and I have no idea why! But I will move on...... like I always do.
Tz out......
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